A Song of Ascents

Graduation and Ordination

2010-05-22T06:25:00.000-07:00

Praise God! I'm done with seminary. This is my graduating class, standing outside of the cathedral in Pittsburgh on May 15.

Next, God willing, I'll be ordained a transitional deacon in Albany, NY, on June 5. I just moved to upstate NY this week to prepare to begin doing church planting work in the city of Troy.

Our church plant will have a blog or e-mail list with regular updates (unlike this blog, which has been very sporadic). I'll post the link to the new blog on this page once it's up and running.

What I'm Learning About Being a Pastor

2009-07-18T17:29:00.000-07:00

This summer I've been doing CPE, which stands for Clinical Pastoral Education. It's a program that sort of combines hospital chaplaincy, group therapy and individual soul-searching. I've been serving as a chaplain in the VA, and I've been spending a lot of time caring for very sick and dying people.

I've got two of my ten weeks remaining. Recently, those of us CPE had to write a short paper describing what aspects of our theology inform how we minister. I thought I'd share it here because it reflects a lot of what I'm learning right now. Here it is:

I believe that every human being possesses dignity as God’s created image-bearer – no matter how mutilated and twisted that inherent nobility may become as a result of our universal fall into evil, sickness and death. My understanding of the deep worth of humanity informs my daily ministry by challenging me to “respect the dignity of every human being” (BCP baptismal covenant). At the VA, I have tried to honor every person that I encounter – even if they dishonor me, even if their bodies and minds are broken by illness and the rigors of war.

I believe that I have been freed from sin and death by Jesus Christ, God incarnate who took sin upon himself and crushed it through his death and resurrection. This means that Our Lord established “a living hope” (1 Peter 1:3) for every human being who clings to him for life – a hope that will be consummated when he returns in glory to vanquish the powers of hell forever. This understanding informs my daily ministry by allowing me to convey hope beyond the despair and pain of a given moment. At the VA, I have tried to point to the truth of this gospel hope in numerous ways – by word, by silence, by Scripture, by sacrament, by prayer, by touch, by listening.

God is both transcendent and immanent. His holiness and glory are beyond comprehension, yet he walked with his creatures in the garden, led his people in the desert, took on human flesh and burns within each believer (Romans 8:11). The transcendent God showed his self-giving love, mercy and justice most gloriously by dying in agony on a Roman cross. Because of this, my own ministry is deeply incarnational, but I focus on God’s immanence with the understanding that it cannot be separated from his transcendence. My constant prayer is that I can be a living icon to each person I encounter so that they will not fixate on me – rather, that they will gaze on the God of glory who works through me.

I worship a God who was wounded for me – who, in fact, saved me through his woundedness (Isaiah 53:5) . Because I believe God is constantly healing the wounds of the world, I trust him to work through the broken places of my life to heal others. I believe God is strong in my weakness (2 Corinthians 12:9) and that he uses the painful moments of my life to minister to others (2 Corinthians 1:3-11). In my daily ministry, this belief allows me to minister without having all the answers – to minister in faith, trusting that the Holy Spirit uses even my failings for his purposes. At the VA, it allows me to sit with others in their broken places, trusting that God is at work even there – especially there.

In all of this, I strive to be desperate in my reliance upon the Holy Spirit. Although my truest identity is “child of God” because of what Jesus has done, I am still a sinner who can do nothing apart from the source of life – take a breath, stay sober, be of use to anyone as a chaplain. In my daily life, this means I have to maintain spiritual disciplines (reading Scripture, prayer, worship, community life, observing Sabbath) to keep focused upon the God who is my strength. I have found this is crucial for my ministry at the VA – if I am not keeping focused upon God, I am not effective as a chaplain.

Finally, my work at the VA is informed by my understanding of my call to be a minister of word and sacrament as an Anglican priest. Obviously, God is currently forming me for this work through seminary, CPE, and other avenues. My understanding of priesthood is formed partly by the Biblical images of the shepherd. Although Jesus is the true high priest and only Good Shepherd, he has appointed some disciples as his slaves and agents (John 13:12-17) to act in such roles. One of the Scriptures I turn to in informing my ministry at the VA in this is Ezekiel 34:1-4. God calls his shepherds to feed his sheep, to strengthen the weak, to care for the sick, to bind up the broken and to seek the lost. When I am ordained (God willing), I will have the freedom to administer the sacraments, but my understanding of my charge to serve as a pastor of God’s beloved flock will not change with the laying-on of hands. At the VA and elsewhere, I pray God will give me a heart that is shattered for the lost, the broken, the sick, the weak and the hungry.

Fighting through Seminary -- the Halfway Point

2009-01-02T13:10:00.000-08:00

Well, fall semester of middler year at Trinity has come and gone. Actually, half of seminary has come and gone. Yikes!

The last semester was nothing short of an incredible span of months, both intellectually and spiritually. A big part of that was due to my Mentored Ministry class -- a yearlong program where a student works closely with a pastor in a parish. I have been working at Shepherd's Heart Fellowship, an inner city church devoted to serving the poor. This semester has stretched me plenty, both in teaching me how to be a better servant to broken people and in teaching me to rely more and more heavily on God in my own brokenness.

This semester my classes prompted me to spend long hours thinking of, writing about, praying through questions about the poor, about war and violence, about the sacraments, about prayer, about sex and marriage and celibacy, about anger and grief, about ecstatic visions written in ancient Hebrew, about the intense joy found in worship and song, about utter dependence upon God. And I can see even more of Christ as the Healer, the Lover, the Priest who restores us forever to our God.

At this crossroads, I just want to pause and thank God for leading me on this good road. Left to my own devices, it is never a road I would have chosen.

Worship in a church that God made

2008-07-02T12:03:00.000-07:00

For the past month, I've been living, working and worshipping in Sequoia National Park through a program called A Christian Ministry in the National Parks (www.acmnp.org). This picture shows me with some members of our ministry team after our first worship service together.

Basically, all of us work secular day jobs in the park (mine is sort of high altitude fast food), and we do some ministry stuff in our off hours, primarily in the form of leading worship on Sundays for campers/co-workers.

Should anyone who reads this blog want to visit a service, they're at 10 a.m. in the ampitheaters in both Grant Grove and Lodgepole (I'll be at one or the other depending on the week...you can e-mail me to find out on any given week).

More updates to come.

Year One: Complete

2008-05-18T09:07:00.001-07:00

Whew! When people said seminary would go fast, they weren't kidding around.

My spring semester ended Thursday when I turned in my Greek II take-home translation exam. On Saturday, Trinity had its graduation at the cathedral in Pittsburgh, and a classmate of my was ordained to the priesthood afterward. I got to serve as a marshall during graduation -- it's kind of like being a liturgical usher (in a purple cassock and white cotta). The photo above is of all of the marshalls (we added the badges and six-shooters).

There's a crazy amount of stuff happening in the next few weeks -- visit with family, cross-country trip to California with my mom, my best friend's graduation and ordination, preaching at my parish in Fresno and beginning a three-month summer job in bivocational ministry in Sequoia National Park. Life is good -- hectic, but good. It's times like this when I wonder how I ever believed so sincerely that the Christian life was dull.

3 Thanksgivings and Prayers:

My head is kind of swimming right now after the last week, but I think I can offer a few tentative reflections on the first year:

* After one year, I can say that Trinity's instructors have tremendous skill in what they teach, and I've observed the great heart they have for every student at the school. I have learned a great deal here, and I pray that I may pass on these teachings faithfully.

* I can say that the classmates I came in with -- and the older students we met when we arrived -- have taught me a great deal about love and humility. I pray that we will continue to sharpen and uphold one another in the coming years.

* And, I can say that God has been faithful in disciplining and loving me. I pray that he'll continue to transform me into the image of Christ, all to his glory.

Cool Prayer by Charles de Foucauld

2008-04-10T08:50:00.000-07:00

Father,
I abandon myself into your hands.
Do with me whatever you will.
Whatever you may do I thank you.
I am ready for all, I accept all.
Let only your will be done in me and all your creatures.
I wish no more than this, O Lord.
Into your hands I commend my soul.
I offer it to you with all the love of my heart.
For I love you Lord and so need to give myself,
surrender myself into your hands without reserve
and with boundless confidence
for you are my Father.
Amen

Alleluia! Christ is Risen!

2008-03-23T13:46:00.000-07:00

We know that Christ being raised from the dead will never die again; death no longer has dominion over him. For the death he died he died to sin, once for all, but the life he lives he lives to God.

So you also must consider yourselves dead to sin and alive to God in Christ Jesus.

-- Romans 6:10-11

Song of the Hour

2008-03-21T09:37:00.000-07:00

Not this hour, my love?
It is here too soon.
Please don't let me go.

How do the stars smile?
Fists clench even now
to strike the cheek of my master.

The carpenter's hands that will
dry my tears forever
clench too, in unanswered prayer.

Eyes that won't look away
from my lost soul
will soon see no more.

Lips that told me
everything I've ever done
must be stilled.

Even tonight, those lips sing
a lullaby so sweet that
I cannot believe it is for me.

Those eyes
both unveil and burn away
all my pain.

Only one God
could kneel and wash away
the dust on my feet.

And only you, my love,
would trade a throne of light
for a mantle of blood.

Not so soon, my Lord?
This dark and worthy hour.
Please never let me go.
Never let me go.

The Semester so far....

2008-03-02T12:23:00.000-08:00

This is a picture of the desk in my bedroom. It pretty much sums up my life for the past week. Lots of writing. Lots of reading. Lots of quality (and quantity) time with Greek.

This semester is different than the last one. The academics are tougher, both because they're more rigorous and because they are challenging some of my preconceived notions about things. The best part about this is that I'm trying to carve out time to reflect on all of this -- what it's teaching me about God and living for him (and others) day by day. The awe and gratitude I feel for receiving this training far outweighs the stress and weariness that come with seminary. A few times, I've had to slip away after a lecture to be alone with God for a few minutes just to praise him.

Daily life apart from studying has also been good. My fellow students often take breaks by playing board games or watching DVDs. My housemate taught me how to make homemade bread last week, which gave me a great way to work out all of my angst on a big ball of dough! I'm still messing around with my uke -- trying to improve my types of strums right now.

Then, there are the jokes. We got a few inches of snow yesterday, so a group of us walked to a classmate's house last night and began bellowing Christmas carols outside her door. That's just a recent example.

Anyway, that's a snapshot of everyday life. More updates to come.

3 Thanksgivings:

* For the provision that allows me to be here
* For my family
* For homemade bread

3 Prayers:

* For discernment for the prospective students coming here for visitor's weekend this week
* For peace and strength for our seniors as they look for jobs
* For the men and women who come to the homeless drop-in center on Friday mornings

Yes, this is my ukulele. Eat your heart out, Andy Warhol.

2008-02-03T09:31:00.000-08:00

This week, the uke band at Trinity (also known as MT 500, or Music Therapy 500) received a revised play list that added something like 60 new songs. I was very excited to discover "Clementine" made the new list, along with additional lyrics to "You Are My Sunshine."

Despite this development, I still managed to get my first systematic theology paper written (describing the Christian theology of Justin Martyr), among other things. Whoo-hoo!

3 Thanksgivings:

* For my dad's 75th birthday last week
* For some sunshine today
* For the love of Christian community

3 Prayers:

* That all of us may enter into "the observance of a holy Lent" on Wednesday
* For Trinity's board members as they meet this week
* For financial provision for the school

Spring Semester starts tomorrow

2008-01-27T08:30:00.001-08:00

Well, a lot has happened since my last post. Obviously.

Fall semester ended well, although the exegesis paper for Biblical Interpretation was quite a challenge. A lot of older seminarians told the people in my class that the exegesis paper is sort of the traditional hurdle for first-year students, difficulty-wise. If you don't know what exegesis is (because it wasn't long ago when I didn't), it's basically a study of a passage of Scripture that tries to get at its meaning. Some of the ways we do exegesis is by studying important words in the Scripture passage, its grammar, the historical background of it, and how it fits into the rest of the chapter, the book, and the Bible. Whew! Talk about humbling. And rewarding.

I had a few weeks off, took a one-week intensive class on the Pentateuch (a.k.a. the first five books of the Bible), and am currently enjoying my final day off before spring classes begin. Got another full plate this semester:

1. Systematic Theology
2. Greek II
3. Introduction to New Testament
4. Introduction to Missions
5. History class on models of Christian community

One change this semester is that my housemate Sarah (above middle) has to move back to New England this week. The photo depicts me along with our other housemate, Hannah, engaging in a bizarre inside joke that would take way too long to explain in this post. Suffice to say, we had a lot of fun with Sarah and will miss her.

3 Thanksgivings:

* For the start of new classes
* For a pain-free trip to the dentist last week
* For a renewed awareness of God's presence

3 Prayers:

* For Sarah as she departs Ambridge this week
* For peace, strength, and humor for this new semester
* For the poor living in Ambridge and Pittsburgh

Motley Crew

2007-11-15T11:25:00.000-08:00

This photo, if you hadn't guessed it, depicts our flag football team (the image is borrowed from the school website at www.tesm.edu). We ended up going 2-1 in the Luther Bowl last week, and two of our players got stitches. Thankfully, they're healing up quickly.

A friend of mine recently described this photo as a motley crew. Interestingly enough, my Old Testament professor had said just a few days prior that it's remarkable that God uses people in his plans, especially a "motley crew" like the people in our class.

She added, "And if you don’t think you’re a motley crew, you should be up here and see what I see."

True dat.

3 Thanksgivings to God:

* For the ability of the human mind to absorb Greek verb endings
* For this day of sobriety
* For putting a song into my heart

3 Prayers:

* For God's help in glorifying him through my studies
* For complete healing for all of the football players who were hurt on Saturday
* That love for Christ may abound in all who call on his name

Updates!

2007-11-08T17:14:00.000-08:00

It's been a long time since I've written, partly because I kept trying to load some photographs and failing. I am now willing to concede temporary defeat, and I'm sending a text update. (But someday, I will find a way to post pictures from the All Soul's Day costume party).

It's a little over partway through the first semester. Here are a few notes on what we've learned so far:

1. Greek: I can now read Biblical Greek on a first to second grade level. Whoo-hoo!

2. Church History: I can tell you Protestants and Catholics really didn't like one another during the 1500s, but everyone hated the Anabaptists. (Insert friendly shout-out to Mennonite Brethren Biblical Seminary here).

3. Biblical Interpretation: I am learning to do sentence flows -- basically, split verses of Scripture into clauses and list whether they're subordinating or coordinating. It seems my elementary school grammar teacher is vindicated -- I really did need to learn this stuff.

4. Old Testament: The prophetic books in the Old Testament are longer than the entire New Testament, but many Christians don't read them. And, the prophets really were saying more than just, "Repent!" But, they were pretty weird.

5. Spiritual Formation: We have learned about confession, fasting, sabbath-keeping, study, worship, prayer, etc. I've been fighting the feeling that I should be practicing all of the spiritual disciplines in existence. At the same time.

All joking aside, the semester is going very well. I'm learning tons -- more than I can process at the moment, in all honesty. And, humor is proving to be very important. As is the ukulele.

Speaking of humor, we had a pep rally at Trinity today for the flag football team, the Kneelers (yeah, we're in Steelers country here in Ambridge). The co-ed team (whose captains coerced me into playing) is going to compete in the "Luther Bowl" on Saturday in Gettysburg against a bunch of other seminaries. The pep rally was...well, let me share a sample of one of the cheers from today:

A-N-G-L-I-C - Anglican!
A-N-G-L-I-C - We're here to win!
A-N-G-L-I-C - Christ conquered sin!
A-N-G-L-I-C - Kneelers! Fight! Win!

Anyway. You get the idea.

3 Thanksgivings:

* For the birth of Aubrey, my great-niece, at the end of October
* For continuing good health and energy to pursue my studies
* For friendships, both here and back in San Joaquin

3 Prayers:

* For lowered stress levels at Trinity as finals get closer
* For financial provision for the school
* For all of those in the Diocese of San Joaquin, especially those in leadership, as we approach convention in December.

Community

2007-10-15T17:07:00.001-07:00

I haven't been imagining it. The junior class likes to party.

Oh, I don't mean in an "Animal House" kind of way. Our larger parties tend to include modified Evening Prayer or guitar-driven praise singalongs. But we do, as a whole, spend a lot of outside time hanging around one another...at small group potlucks, at sprawling Mexican food themed parties, at little kid birthday parties.

Besides liking parties, we're an ornery lot. Each week, we've taken to asking our longsuffering church history professor at least one impossibly divisive question.

For instance, one of my classmates -- completely deadpan -- asked this question during the final two minutes of a three-hour class last Tuesday, "Dr. Witt, was Mary really a perpetual virgin?" We've also asked him about infant baptism and some aspects of transubstantiation. I'm not sure what we'll come up with tomorrow.

It's a favorite phrase of one of our deans at Trinity to say, "It's a school, it's a school, it's a school." At a basic level, we can expect to leave in three years with our heads crammed full of Hebrew and systematic theology. But there's a lot more that happens here, and it's hard to really understand exactly how this "formation" thing works -- how we're going to emerge as pastors or teachers or whatever God's called us to be.

I think community is a big part of the process. As we pray and study and work and party and tease our professors together, I think (I pray) that God will continue to use us to form one another into what he wishes us to be. And isn't this one of the beauties of any Christian community? Isn't it one of the things I love about parishes?

Of course, there are dangers in community. Divisions. Jealousy. Pride. Anger. Unforgiveness. Impatience. Selfishness. It wasn't new for the believers in Corinth when Paul was writing to them. It's not new now.

It always seems to come down to love. When we're wounded by the broken places within our brothers and sisters -- a day that inevitably comes -- may the Holy Spirit empower us to love all the more.

3 Thanksgivings

1. For God's financial provision for the friend I mentioned in the last post
2. For fall leaves
3. For the bonds of community

3 Prayers

1. That the love of Christ will rule our hearts as we continue to form bonds of community here
2. For our professors -- for wisdom, energy and peace
3. For God's help in discernment

A Crunch (ain't talking about the sound fall leaves make)

2007-10-01T13:58:00.000-07:00

This week presents the first of many time crunches for the folks in our class, so I'm keeping this blog entry short. I've seen two friends in the library today looking mildly freaked out and muttering about impending deadlines for this or that.

I know what they're saying. My brain is kind of swimming in a stew of second aorist Greek verbs, semantic meanings of "people" from a chapter in Acts, and Christological heresies.

On a slightly less academic note, I'm making progress toward learning the chords on ukulele to play "Where is my Hairbrush?" from VeggieTales. My professor Rod Whitacre, who is to blame for introducing me to the uke, would call this going to my "Happy Place."

3 Prayers:

* For energy and focus for us in our studies
* For my friend Keith, who lost his dad to cancer Sunday
* For financial provision for one of my classmates, who's in a real bind

3 Thanksgivings:

* For being blessed with a housemate who loves baking cookies
* For being blessed with a housemate who loves playing the violin
* For my Happy Place

Why you need to know about Asmara

2007-09-22T14:33:00.000-07:00

This week, Trinity had the honor of playing host to Archbishop Mouneer Anis from the Diocese of Egypt. He stopped by the school on his way to deliver an address to the House of Bishops in New Orleans.

His gracious address, by the way, is well worth reading. You can read it by going here: http://www.standfirminfaith.com/index.php/site/article/6132/

After Archbishop Anis celebrated the Eucharist with us, he told us about the Christians in his Diocese. The thing that struck me most during his talk (and there were a lot of things that struck me) was this: in the area known as Asmara, Christians get arrested for going to church. There are about 1,500 believers in jail now. Often, they're arrested when they walk out of their parishes after worship.

Archbishop Anis asked us to pray for Asmara. I'd like to ask you to do the same.

3 Prayers:

* For our brothers and sisters in Asmara, that they would not lose heart
* For the Lord to raise up lay and ordained leaders in the Diocese of Egypt
* For an anointing on Archbishop Anis

3 Thanksgivings:

* For the faithful witness of past and present Christians in North Africa
* For a week of beautiful weather in Ambridge
* For developing friendships here

That Pesky Fourth Commandment

2007-09-16T19:46:00.000-07:00

Do you ever walk into a situation while asking yourself in bewilderment, "How exactly did I get myself into this?" I kind of felt that way this weekend. At first.

On Friday night, I found myself in a retreat center in Youngstown, Ohio, preparing to spend 24 hours with a few dozen people who serve in prayer-related ministries at a Pittsburgh church I've never attended. I'd been invited to the 24-hour retreat on Thursday night by a friend of mine from Trinity. I'd already said no to a bunch of other get-togethers on Friday night, but against my better judgment (or at least, against the Homework Nazi yelling inside my head), I said yes to this one.

So, there I was. I sat down in a room with a bunch of pleasant-looking folks, wondering what the retreat theme was. Then the speaker stood, and I found out: It was about keeping the Sabbath.

That's when all the pieces fell into place, and I had to bite my lip to keep from laughing. I felt like God had just let me in on the joke.

For months, I've been sensing God pushing me toward incorporating more listening, silence, and rest into my life. Roughly a week ago, my spiritual director strongly suggested that I work to observe the Sabbath while I'm in school (and I agreed).

The retreat was both refreshing and helpful, being designed to help ministers understand Sabbath through studying it in scripture and through living it for 24 hours.

So that's how, without knowing it, I ended up exactly where I needed to be on Friday night. Thanks be to God.

3 Thanksgivings:

* For the birth this weekend of my fellow junior Fred's new daughter
* For Sarah's dramatic improvement in health since last week
* That we belong to the Lord of the Sabbath.

3 Prayers (selected this week from prayers for Ember Days in the Book of Common Prayer, pages 205-206):

* For those to be ordained
* For the choice of fit persons for the ministry
* For all Christians in their vocation

Despite "Syllabus Shock," Seminarians Survive First Week of Classes

2007-09-07T11:36:00.000-07:00

Our Dean of Students cornered me yesterday after Morning Prayer and cheerfully asked how the week was going. Specifically, she asked if syllabus shock had set in yet.

I don't recall ever really hearing the term "syllabus shock" until a friend of mine enrolled in a different seminary mentioned it some weeks ago. I believe she said something like, "Just wait until syllabus shock sets in."

From what I can gather, syllabus shock results when a student reads about the semester's coming attractions and realizes:

1. How many pages she'll be reading
2. How many pages she'll be writing
3. How many days are in the semester

Anyway, I'd been imagining an unpleasant sensation kind of like an electrical jolt with all this "shock" talk, but the effect has been more like the beginnings of a Tule fog -- it rolls in, gets thick, and suddenly you say to yourself, "Uh oh."

None of this comes as a surprise. Seminary is hard work, and I think it's going to be work that I love.

3 Prayer Requests:

* For the families of seminarians who are trying to adjust to Ambridge -- especially children
* For healing for my housemate Sarah, who's been sick since she arrived
* For any seminarian who's freaking out this week because of "syllabus shock," including our brothers and sisters in The Schools of San Joaquin, Nashotah House and Asbury Theological Seminary.

3 Thanksgivings:

* For the birth of my classmate Jon's new child
* For common prayer -- the ability to gather as a family to praise and petition our Father
* For what Jesus did on the cross, which made such prayer possible

God Stories

2007-08-31T21:01:00.000-07:00

As an Anglican seminary rooted in the evangelical tradition, Trinity has a long-established custom of asking new students to give their testimonies during orientation. The questions: either 1. describe how you came to faith in Christ or 2. how you came to Trinity.

For the Class of 2010 (that's mine), we got to hear most of those stories yesterday and today. They're what one of my friends calls "God stories."

This was, by far, the coolest part of orientation. We listened to about two dozen people describe God's graceful movement in lives scattered from the Carolinas to Alaska. I think of them as vignettes fit within the glorious story of redemption that God has written. Is writing. Will write.

Orientation is over now. Classes begin on Tuesday.

3 Prayer Requests:

* For the faculty, staff and students at Trinity as they begin or resume study
* For guidance in establishing a balance of worship, work and rest
* For God's help in finding a place of worship in this area

3 Thanksgivings:

* For God stories
* For the safe arrival of my two housemates
* For the beginnings of fellowship among the new students

The Time In-Between

2007-08-23T13:52:00.000-07:00

My weeks of being a traveler instead of a Fresno newspaper reporter or a Pennsylvania seminary student are ending.

I moved into my new place in Ambridge on Monday (with a lot of help from some Trinity students). I've spent the past several days organizing, scrubbing and generally trying to get the house in decent shape for my two housemates, who'll be moving in next week.

I'm enjoying this time. It's been a combination of slaying monster dust bunnies, searching for grocery stores and getting acquainted with the sounds of a house that's been around a lot longer than I have.

The OT readings in the Daily Office have been heartbreaking this week. The story of David's dysfunctional family doesn't always hit me like it did yesterday. Absalom did all his power to steal his father's crown, but that didn't stop David's anguish when Absalom was slain in battle against the king's forces.

Here's what David did when he heard the news:

"He went up to the room over the gateway and wept. As he went, he said: 'O my son Absalom! My son, my son Absalom! If only I had died instead of you—O Absalom, my son, my son!'"

I think about all of the parents I've interviewed who have lived through the death (sometimes the murder) of a child. I think that must be one of the greatest pains in the world.

On the Road Again -- but not until Sunday

2007-08-15T14:06:00.000-07:00

The Fresno-to-Ambridge move isn't complete yet, but it's close.

I've been hanging out with my family in Ohio for about a week (which has been nice), and the Ambridge domicile will be ready for move-in on Monday. I'm looking forward to being able to see out the back window of my Honda Civic again. It's been crammed with my junk for weeks now.

Meanwhile, I'll share a few things I've learned during my visit here to Appalachian Ohio (a.k.a. the place where I was raised):

1. Did you know that a Burmese python can crush the air out of a grown man's lungs in 11 seconds? I learned this during an educational snake talk at the Athens County Fair. Naturally, the guy telling us this was petting his Burmese python as he said it.

2. Did you know that worms eat corn? ("Corn worms" as it were). I was introduced to them when I began to clean some non-sprayed, garden corn the other day. There were big worms. There were small, white worms. There were black bugs. Ew. My dad intervened, casually shook the critters off, then cut the bad parts of the corn away. Seriously, it was gross. I kind of wish I had a picture of them to post.

3. Did you know how entertaining it is to watch cars smash into one another? I attended a demolition derby at the Athens County Fair. I enjoyed it so much that I attended another one at the Meigs County Fair the next week. I'm not sure exactly what to make of this development.

Anyway. As admittedly fascinating as all this is, I'm kind of ready to study Greek now.

- 30 -

2007-08-06T09:39:00.000-07:00

Back in the day, reporters used to type -30- at the end of their news stories. It was shorthand for "The End."

Going to seminary full-time has meant surrendering my press badge, my notebook and the obligation to fire off pointed questions at public officials in the name of the community's right to know. It's a great job, and I got to do it for eight years in Fresno, Bakersfield, Texas, Oklahoma and Ohio.

A lot of people have asked me if it was hard to leave journalism. Honestly? It wasn't. The day I left the Fresno newsroom, my feet where following where my heart had gone long before.

All that said, it doesn't change my love for the business. Below is a portion of a note I sent to my Fresno Bee colleagues on my final day in the office. In a way, it's written to every conscientious journalist who I've worked alongside:

"Dear colleagues,

I'll keep it short because this isn't the Academy Awards. My first inclination is to say, "You guys rock," but I'll attempt to be a little more articulate.

Journalism isn't an easy profession. But it is noble and vital. I believed that the day I started, and I believe it today. I'm proud to have worked alongside this mix of bulldogs, artists, workhounds, innovators, skeptics and storytellers. Please keep being who you are. This business needs you.

Covering Fresno education involves a big gray lump of bureaucracy, flashes of youthful brilliance and devoted teaching, a liberal spritzing of Machiavellian politics, and a dash of bald lunacy. I'll admit it..sometimes, it's been pretty fun. When it hasn't, you guys have helped make up for it. Big time.

If you're ever in the Pittsburgh area, I'll treat you to a horrible and wonderful sandwich that smashes meat, French fries and coleslaw between two slices of bread. Or, a cup of coffee. You know I'm good for that.

God's grace be with you all, my friends.

Christina"

A schedule that's already making me feel sleep-deprived...and happy

2007-06-22T22:50:00.000-07:00

I registered for classes the other night on Trinity's website. The fall lineup is as follows:

1. Biblical Interpretation
2. Beginning Greek
3. Foundations in Church History
4. Foundations in Old Testament
5. Spiritual Formation

After finishing, I kind of got a lump in my throat because this seminary thing is for real. Wow.

I visited Trinity in March and knew it was where I was supposed to be. One of my favorite places was the chapel. It was simple brick outside, with a big wooden cross on the wall behind the altar inside.

My last thought and prayer in that room -- before I turned my back to that cross to fly back to Fresno -- was simply this: "God, I'm trusting you to bring me back to this place in the fall."

I spend time with God every day, but I can't wait to meet him in that chapel and say, "I'm here. Thank you."